There are no words

OK fans, if you have made your way over here it’s because you want the NSFW version of my update on Holden and can stomach graphic pictures.

Let’s get the pictures over with:

His poor face is blown to smithereens

His poor face is blown to smithereens

And this:

This is Holden's face head on. The damage is obvious.

This is Holden’s face head on. The damage is obvious.

And now my opinion:

On a scale of what the fuckery from 1 to 10, this is an 11. Whoever did this shot him in the face and intended to make him suffer. In short, someone utterly without conscience or empathy is out there and will probably do this again. His xrays are lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree. I wish pain and suffering on whoever is responsible for this and frankly the world would be a better place without the human who did this.

For now, Holden is resting comfortably and is jacked up on pain meds. Despite the horrific wounds, he will live to bark another day. The use of his eye is in doubt and we are not sure about his jaw, but surgery is in his future. This puppy who is around a year old spent his time with the vet today pawing the vet demanding petting. It is amazing how forgiving these animals can be. Holden is more gracious than I am and while he’s wagging his tail, I’m sharpening my sword. I will likely never know who is responsible for this, but since I am unlikely to be the instrument of karmic justice, I can only hope that karma does indeed work its magic.

For those that want to help, you can donate here.

Attention Wolf People: We get it, so simmer down

Well, it’s April Fools Day, which is the one day of the year where I reaffirm just how incredibly gullible and, occasionally, stupid people can be. As some of you know, every year I post a wolf for adoption on our page. This year was no exception. People lost their ever-loving minds and many took us to task for either removing a wolf from the wild or, alternately, for having a wolf and not placing it with wolf people. Seriously. They did. Just check the 500+ comments on the thread at the link above. This begs the question who the fuck seriously thinks a dog rescue has a dog for adoption that hates animals, eats small woodland creatures, wants to eat your granddaughter and took off three fingers of a trainer trying to teach it to not be food aggressive? The reply email on the post is “itsawolfpeople@gmail.com” (which by the way is not a real address) and should have clued people in to the fact it’s a freaking joke. People: it’s not real so get a grip. Not everything you read on the internets is true.

This is an actual wolf Troy photographed. It does not need rescue.

This is an actual wolf Troy photographed. It does not need rescue.

I would like to take this opportunity to pass along a message to our passionate friends in wolf advocacy. Simmer the fuck down. We aren’t advocating that anyone adopt/capture/trap wolves and putting up a fake post about a wolf is in no way harming wolves. You know who is harming wolves? The dicks running the states of Montana, Wyoming and Idaho who think it’s OK to slaughter them so elk hunters don’t have competition. I suggest that you all dedicate yourselves to the admirable and Herculean task of saving wolves and back off a friendly rescue who supports your cause.

Let me offer you some friendly advice. I have some experience with dealing with morons who indiscriminately kill animals. Try dog rescue for a week in the South if you want to be truly depressed/need experience with mass slaughter. However, even with that depressing fact underscoring every single thing we do, we’ve managed to build a pretty big fan base and we save a lot of dogs because we get how to do it. There is a right way and a wrong way to advocate for an animal. You don’t get that big of fan base if you alienate them with spite or if you drown them in gloom and doom. There is a way to advocate for wolves without looking like a prig or a self-righteous jackass, even in the midst of the horror and carnage. Trust me. I do it everyday.

So wolf people, I’m here if you want some advice on marketing these animals to the public to give them a voice and I will offer my services to you to help out the wolves. I love wolves and I want them to have a place, too. They have every right. Just stop taking the bait when I post about magical direwolves on our Facebook page. You look stupid when you do.

Save the dogs; then maybe if time permits, other small mammals

I was going to write a long post about how Troy and I stayed at Tiburon in Naples, Florida, as home base for our Everglades adventure. (For those not in the know, Tiburon is a “resort community” with a golf course connected to the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, Florida). This is, apparently, a big deal to golfers. Troy and I do not golf. Ever. Troy’s mother owns a condo there so it seemed like a good idea, chiefly because it is free. This area is full of zero-percent-body-fat trophy wives of a certain age who get lots of work done and look perpetually surprised due to Botox overload. Coincidentally, we were visited by one of these very blonde, sleek women who knocked on our door to ask us not to get up so early as it disturbed her. Right. Anyway, I digress. This is the land of the very wealthy and every single resident there could be (and should be) charged with the crime of living while overprivileged.

Parking for the visitors of the overprivileged

While I could ramble on about my Margaret Mead exploration of the land of nip and tuck, I would rather talk tonight about something more socially redeeming. As some of you know, I am a big fan of big dogs in general and am especially fond of a particular rescue, Big Fluffy Dog Rescue, that rescues these guys. This rescue is in dire financial straits because it is run by volunteers with huge hearts, but small wallets. This rescue took in 16 puppies in danger of being put down from shelters in the South. These 16 puppies then broke with a very bad disease called parvo, which is caused by a virus and it is very expensive to treat and fatal a lot of the time.  $16,000 later, 10 of the puppies have survived, but the rescue is left with crushing vet bills. I think we can help spread the word and raise some cash to help them out.

Do you want to say no to this face?

I know this post has nothing to do with our more typical discussions like how Troy is trying to kill me on some remote mountain hike, but this is a worthy cause and I promise extra surly posts for the rest of the week to make up for it.

Big Fluffy Dog Rescue is a 501c3 rescue and gifts to them are tax deductible. You can donate to them here and the nice folks that handle donations will send you a letter thanking you for your gift.

I am sure the big fluffies will thank you for your donations and for spreading the word. Tomorrow I promise a detailed discussion of whether bears do in fact shit in the woods. I have visual proof to share that shows they do. Also, Troy tried to kill me in a kayak. Tomorrow. Really.

Sleep the sleep of angels or of a Great Pyrenees, and donate to a worthy cause