Betty Crocker is a communist

Need I say more?

Woefully behind on posts from the lengthy December vacation which was followed by endless trials and whining clients, I decided I needed a chocolate infusion stat. Everyone knows that brownie batter is a cure for bad breakups, cancer and stress.  I have stress, therefore I need brownies, and pre-brownies in the form of brownie batter while I wait for brownies to bake.  Then I saw this on the box. “Fuck off Betty Crocker”, said Jean as she licked the spatula.

 

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Attention Captain Obvious

It is 8 pm and I am in line at Target. I am purchasing five items:

1. Tampons

2. A trashy novel

3. A bottle of Aleve

4. A chocolate bar from Godiva

5. A bottle of water

You are the clerk. You scan the items one by one. You hand me the water, but put the candy bar in the bag.

Excuse me, but is there something you aren’t getting? Hand over the fucking candy bar.

Also, in line behind me, a non-descript gentleman in his 50s. He had three items:

1. Vaseline

2. A box of Kleenexes

3. A copy of GQ magazine

I’d bag those if I were you.

Speaking of word association games (bachelorette party, drag queens and pipe cleaners), here’s a shout out to Noa of  Oh Noa who has linked us to her blog for the League of Funny Bitches. Not sure I’m worthy, but I appreciate the nod.