Wax ecstatic

There are some people in this world who need more to be worried about in their lives. Consider, if you will, this little gem from our helpful friends at eHow: how to wax your perianal area. Translation: asshole waxing for the do-it-yourselfer. Seriously. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about before. Now my asshole needs to be hairless.

Miss Kitty explains how to get your wax on.

Being eHow, Miss Kitty gives detailed instructions on how to accomplish this. One key thing she forgets to mention is the ever-important rule to always lock the bathroom door first. If Troy came in and saw me hunched on the floor with wax on my ass and a mirror in my hand to check it out, it would be a toss-up as to who would be more traumatized.

You'll need to be an octopus to hold your ass cheeks apart and accomplish trimming ass hairs as instructed at number 3.

I am thinking that you may need a few months of Pilates or yoga to allow you to have the leg strength to squat with a mirror and wax while holding such an awkward position for long periods of time. Finally, the “tips and warnings” section has this superb suggestion:

That phone call to your BFF might be awkward. "Katie, do you mind coming over tonight and helping me wax my asshole?"

And after the waxing, apparently you need anal bleaching. There is no end to the shame.