Has anyone seen our weather?

Dear Death Valley,

It appears you left your park unlocked and allowed your weather to escape to Tennessee. I’m sure it’s just an oversight that you haven’t come to collect it yet. However, I am sweating in ways that I cannot describe. It’s the kind of hot where you drive down the street wearing a muumuu draped over the steering wheel so you can get cold refreshing air from the AC on your lady parts because your ass melted into the seat on contact. It also appears y’all stole our weather. We would like you to return it. Death Valley is sitting at a lovely 99 today, which is hot, but livable in Tennessee at this time of year.

A balmy 99 in the desert

By contrast, at 3:30 today, this is what the temperature is here in Nashville:


Come get your weather, assholes. I am not amused. Thanks.

3 Responses to Has anyone seen our weather?

  1. David says:

    Yes! Over the last couple of years you’ve had what? Floods, tornadoes, and now this infernal heat. I’m beginning to see a pattern. We may be living in the end times. Hope the air conditioning stays functional so you, Troy and the critters have a place to cool off.

  2. bschooled says:

    I actually had to use the Fahrenheit to Celsius converter to figure out how hot this was.

    I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that kind of heat. And I spent three months in Nicaragua!

  3. Mayor Gia says:

    WHOA! I thought it was bad when I got to 102.

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