Captain Nemo

I capsized today in the swamp. Mega embarrassing.  I got stuck on deadfall and tried to push out of it and went over. Jesus. I know they say reptiles never attack lawyers out of professional courtesy, but I was very motivated to get out of the water as there were alligators 20 feet back.  When you have only 5 feet of space available and you are standing in 5 feet of cold, smelly water, getting the water out of your kayak and you back into it is a challenge, particularly when your sandals are being sucked off your feet by swamp mud.

Pretty and evil.

I smelled like a wookie all day. My skin is stained brown from all the tannin in the water. Perhaps someone will mistake it for a tan. Tomorrow, no mangroves. All sawgrass and open water. Thank God. Pain rating for the day: 8 out of 10. Definitely time for drugs that end in the letters “-cet”.

Haiku of the day:

Brown, swampy water

Smells like ass and tastes much worse

Mangroves are evil


8 Responses to Captain Nemo

  1. Now you know why I would NEVER go into a damn swamp. Ditto on any place with grizzly bears. Black bears and cougars are moving in next door, though. Got any more Freddies that you need to be taken off of your hands? Freddie’s doing great, btw. He’s one hell of a good watch dog!

  2. I would like to join you on and adventure one day…but really only one that involves exploring what the bottom of a beer bottle looks like…..Mangroves and all sound pretty scary, but I guess the fake tan makes up for it (?!)

  3. David says:

    Well, look on the bright side. That’s one way to get a tan, I guess.

  4. bschooled says:

    I hope you don’t mind, but I am going to quote your haiku at Christmas dinner tonight. I know it’s kind of unrelated, but since I’m in Mexico it doesn’t matter anyway.

    For example, last night’s Christmas recital featured songs like “Stairway to Heben” and “Yessie’s Girl”.

    Hope you’re having an excellent holiday!

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