The Subway: Nature 1, Troy 0

In one of my rare fits of sanity, I decided I was in no condition to handle the hike through the Subway.  This hike is the kind of hike where you take a map, knowing there’s not a lot of trail to follow and it’s long with lots of scrambling over obstacles, swimming in very cold water and some minor rappelling. Since my hike through the Narrows left me with crystal clear knowledge of every single muscle connection between my toes and scalp, I did not think I could pull myself up to anything other than a bar. The ever-intrepid Troy went alone.

Scenery along Kolob Terrace Road on the way to Wildcat Canyon

I agreed I would pick Troy up from the bottom of the route and I spent a pleasant morning strolling the red rock desert of southwestern Utah.  Zion is of course named after the promised land the Mormons thought they had found. I did not see a single Mormon, but I would bet that the European to American ratio is something like 8 to 1 right now. Those Germans are serious hikers and they are here in droves. I spent a fun day playing the game “gay or European hipster?” (they are hard to differentiate but it’s all in the shoe choices) and then it was time to go get Troy.

I arrived at the Left Fork Trailhead and waited. I brought my Kindle and read. I read a lot. Hours went by and I finished the Beautiful and the Damned which I had always meant to read and never quite did. The park ranger came by. We chatted. Troy is largely invincible in the woods so I have never been all that concerned, but in the back of my mind was the fear I might have to go down the trail and look for him. It’s 400 feet straight down at the end of the trail.  Right around 6 pm as I am thinking about going to look for him, up hobbles Troy and announces he has broken his ankle.  No matter what Troy says, I am an awesome wife. I brought him dry clothes to change into, I got the shoe off his mangled foot and we set off for the hospital.

Hurricane Utah is a small town with a clinic-type hospital and they got him in and out within 2 hours. Had this been a Nashville hospital, we’d probably still be there. Troy did not in fact break his ankle, but he sprained the crap out of it and it is now a rainbow of pretty colors.

I think the Scorpion tattoo adds a lot of visual interest to his bruising

Troy claims to have defeated nature plenty of times, but not this trip. Nature 1, Troy 0.

The Subway


5 Responses to The Subway: Nature 1, Troy 0

  1. David says:

    At least Troy got his injury on the trail, so there was guts and glory involved. Grant him that. I confess I once stupidly popped my ankle out right before a skiing trip jumping in and out of the gutter at the side of the road while waiting for others to finish packing. Great way to waste a trip … not! 😦

    Troy’s foot may well color up a bit more yet as the blood pigments begin to break down. Didn’t you have another hike or two scheduled? I guess this means a change of plans.

  2. Troy decided to do the full through-hike of the Narrows yesterday – all 16 miles. He made it in 9 hours. Sometimes, I hate him. He makes me look bad. We did scrub the Pine Creek and Fat Man’s Misery canyoneering side trips. Instead, we went to Antelope Canyon.

  3. bschooled says:

    Yes, I am stalking your blog.

    I got tired just reading your first paragraph. I’d call it quits after the scrambling over obstacles part.

    I agree, the bruise really adds to the tattoo. It’s like the scorpion is on his own hike, only instead of a map he’s following the path created by the gradual discoloration of skin.

    (Er, did I read way too much into that or what?)

    ps. You’re right, you are an awesome and extremely considerate wife.

    • My husband has 2 tattoos, the scorpion (which I totally do not get – was it like a Rock You Like a Hurricane moment?) and a happy face with vampire fangs (he’s totally on-trend 20 years in advance. I think it looks like the scorpion bit him.

  4. ChristyS says:

    Like PJ O’Roark said in his hilarious travel book “an adult, heterosexual male wearing a speedo, a Micky Mouse t-shirt and carrying a purse, what could it be but a vacationing Frenchman?”.

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