Why Eric Northman would make an awesome lawyer, with pictures

I am shallow and require mindless entertainment on occasion, which is why I adore True Blood. For sheer pretty scenery (I never thought I had a thing for Nordic blondes, but I have generously made an exception for Alexander Skarsgard), it’s hard to beat. Man prettiness plus cartoon violence = perfect Sunday night.  Last night I realized that Eric Northman is actually a lawyer at heart.  He broods, he is always rescuing someone, he owes allegiance to someone above him (King of Mississippi or managing partner – there’s very little difference) and he will rip someone’s heart out and drink their blood. Awesome.

So for our Sunday night recap (Soul of Fire episode for our more devoted friends), in pictures:

Eric is seriously pissed off. Probably how I look when someone files a stupid motion.

This is an excellent lawyer look. If I could grow fangs, I would totally do it.

Sookie is screaming (as usual) just like every whining client.

Clients are a problem. Mine rarely get trapped in a circle of literal fire, but Eric has a problem with this one. Clients ALWAYS expect their lawyer to rescue them. Of course, he will rescue her:

Best line of the night: "You'll have to go through me to get to her." Eric: "OK."

Ripping the heart of your client’s enemy out is a total lawyer thing. I greatly admired it, but Eric goes one step past awesome into the lawyer hall of fame:

Using your now-deceased enemy's heart as a sippy cup is epicly awesome. Well done, Eric Northman.

It appears of course that this was largely wasted as managing partner/King of Mississippi Bill only killed the evil witch and did not dispense with her spirit who is going to just fuck everything up next Sunday night, but that’s just like actually being a lawyer. You do all the hard work and someone higher than you on the ladder just goes and fucks all your good work up. Eric Northman, go to law school. You would be an outstanding lawyer. Sure, you’ll have to stick to night court, but still.

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6 Responses to Why Eric Northman would make an awesome lawyer, with pictures

  1. wagthedad says:

    I’ve sort of lost track of True Blood lately, since I have to steal it from the Internet (damn copyright laws and lawyers; I would PAY for it if you would offer it to me), but this is really great. I love the sippy cup heart scene. I think I need to get me one of them.

  2. David says:

    Yeah, well, one day the cable companies may be the ones who have to bend over. We can only hope.

    • I learned the hard way not to click on links from my friends with the phrase ‘redtube’ in it without checking to be sure that no one was close by. The internet has killed many industries. Some industries needed killing.

  3. David says:

    Ripping out hearts … ::sigh:: Lawyers have all the fun! Plucking the gonads out of unwitting pets kinda pales in comparison. 😛

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