Attention Captain Obvious

It is 8 pm and I am in line at Target. I am purchasing five items:

1. Tampons

2. A trashy novel

3. A bottle of Aleve

4. A chocolate bar from Godiva

5. A bottle of water

You are the clerk. You scan the items one by one. You hand me the water, but put the candy bar in the bag.

Excuse me, but is there something you aren’t getting? Hand over the fucking candy bar.

Also, in line behind me, a non-descript gentleman in his 50s. He had three items:

1. Vaseline

2. A box of Kleenexes

3. A copy of GQ magazine

I’d bag those if I were you.

Speaking of word association games (bachelorette party, drag queens and pipe cleaners), here’s a shout out to Noa of  Oh Noa who has linked us to her blog for the League of Funny Bitches. Not sure I’m worthy, but I appreciate the nod.

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4 Responses to Attention Captain Obvious

  1. Sara Bellum says:

    There should be a trust fund set up to teach old people about the internet, so they’re not stuck masturbating to GQ. Seriously.

  2. MelbaToast says:

    at least the clerk didn’t hand you the tampons..since you were shopping at Target alcohol wasn’t in the equation….. A friend of mine once left a bitchy waitress a penny, a cigarette and a tampon as a tip..

  3. MelbaToast says:

    I missed one…. it was an aspirin, a penny, a cigarette and a tampon as a tip…

  4. Noa Gavin says:

    I’m pretty sure this proves you’re utterly worthy of The League. (and thanks for the shout out!)

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