My special superhero power
October 15, 2009 Leave a comment
We had a debate recently about what super power we would have if we were a superhero. I decided that my special power was that no one would ever be in my way and I would never have to wait for anything. I admit that at first blush, this does not seem all that amazing. However, if you have ever driven I-24 at rush hour, this is a major bonus. Also, I would never wait. Not on the phone, not in court, not at the grocery store. I would zip through life without ever having a twinge of road rage. I considered other special powers before rejecting them. Reading other people’s minds was one, but I expect that someone would be thinking “Wow, she’s a major bitch” and I would then be really sorry I did not choose to have the special power to obliterate people with a death ray that shoots out of my middle finger. I also considered and rejected omniscience (my husband says I already think I am omniscient as I never let him get a complete sentence out before I start talking), living forever (I already endured the 70s as a child and never want to wear bell bottom hip huggers again and oh yes , they will return sometime in the future) and bending space and time (I could not manage the math calculations required). So by choosing never having my progress impeded in any way, I will sail through life without experiencing any irritating delays or being behind the Somali cab driver who sits in the left lane doing 54 miles an hour. Also, I could stop wanting to kill my husband who asks annoying questions like “what took you so long?” So in sum, no road rage, no need for Xanax, husband gets to live. This is an awesome power. Really.