The Grim Reaper Report: National Park deaths

I have noticed an uptick in people who find this blog with searches for people who die in various national parks or as dinner for a shark or grizzly bear. Y’all are clearly a morbid, bloodthirsty bunch. This morning, these searches found this blog:

Searching for dead people

As a public service, for those of you with morbid curiosity wasting time looking for information on people who have died in National Parks and how, here’s where you need to go:

Yellowstone deaths

This bear in Yellowstone did not eat us as we stayed a long way away. If you surprise a bear with cubs, you can expect to be dispatched to the hereafter. Note the grainy picture which denotes long distance away from danger.

 

Yosemite deaths

3 people just died here. We didn't, but we stayed behind the rails.

Zion National Park deaths

This is why people die on Angel's Landing. It's 1200 feet off to one side and 900 on the other. I'm not insane enough to climb this, but Troy was. He's alive.

Grand Canyon deaths

Death Valley National Park deaths

Mount Ranier National Park deaths

Great Smoky Mountain National Park deaths/statistics

People die in Great Smoky Mountain National Park every year. Mostly because they are stupid. Waterfalls are dangerous.

 

Acadia National Park

Joshua Tree National Park

Mt. St. Helens National Volcanic Monument

Channel Islands National Park

Biscayne National Park

The water at Biscayne National Park is crystal clear. You can drown here or be eaten by a shark. According to Troy, who has to my knowledge, never set a toe in the ocean.

Big Bend National Park

Rocky Mountain National Park

I did not drown, fall off a waterfall or get eaten by a mountain lion in Rocky Mountain National Park

Grand Teton National Park

Troy hiked all 19+ miles of this trail in Grand Teton without dying

Badlands National Park (click on the compendium for details by year)

The Badlands are named that way for a reason. Troy survived it. Because he's not an idiot and took water and knew where he was. Also because I was not there for him to argue with about which way to go.

Canyonlands National Park

Just past the arch is a drop of over 1500 feet. Don't go to the edge and pose.

Haleakala National Park

Crater Lake National Park

Sequoia National Park

Kings Canyon National Park

Denali National Park

Sadly, there’s no statistics kept on who had it coming. Darwinism may be at work in many of the deaths.

For those of you even more determined to track down who met their fate in the form of being dinner for a wild animal, here you go:

Mountain lion attacks

Black bear attacks

These baby bears are adorable. Mom is pissed off. We stayed a respectful distance away.

Grizzly bear attacks

Polar bear attacks

Shark attacks

Killer bee attacks

Snake bite deaths

You’re welcome.

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6 Responses to The Grim Reaper Report: National Park deaths

  1. Westie says:

    Good job BTBNL! You have proven once again the worth of knowledgeable individual reporting from the WebHive!!! After years as a White Water paddling fool (Open Canoe and C-1), I arrived here and have to say that the Mess Media is pitiful compared to your simple followup with pix and what should be eye opening examples of why stupidity will get your DEAD in semi or real wilderness situations.
    I hear the screeching already for banning uncontrolled WATER FALLS due to AGW of course.

  2. The problem with national parks is that they encourage people to feel safer than they are. We should probably ban them immediately. Having been in Yosemite in June, I can say the recent deaths were bound to happen. The water levels are extremely high and people have no idea how dangerous swift water is. A rough form of Darwinism to be sure and I feel sorry for their families and for those people that were there when this happened.

  3. wagthedad says:

    Nice. Very nice. Someone actually found my site by typing in “man whore”. I don’t remember EVER using the word “whore” on my blog, but what the hey. At least yours sounds dangerous. Mine just sounds like a tube of lube kept in a plastic baggy under the mattress.

  4. bschooled says:

    I can’t even tell you how much I love these shots. They’re so clear, I feel like I’m looking at them through 3-D glasses.

    Also, it helps that I’m currently wearing 3-D glasses.

    ps. I just spent the last however long adjusting my subscription settings so from now on I should be getting your blog updates via email. I’d appreciate it if you could write another post (within the next hour or so) so I can test it. ;)

    pps. The “man ass” search was me.

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